The real long-term husband and wife must be distressed to each other, not miserable to each other.
when I went downstairs to throw rubbish last night, I met a couple quarreling.
the woman said, "take care of the baby at home today. You've been too tired lately."
the man said, "Why are you tired? you don't have to go to work. I'm really tired."
the woman shouted: "have you ever brought it after the baby was born?" When I come back every day, I play with my cell phone and lie in bed. "
the man said, "I work outside every day to give you a good life."
I don't know if you have noticed this phenomenon:
usually husband and wife quarrel, basically than miserable, who is more tired, than who pays more.
unhappy marriages are worse than who
that's how best friend Xiaoya quarreled with her husband.
having dinner with Xiaoya last week, her husband suddenly called.
the couple quarreled as they spoke, and Xiaoya said:
"only you are tired, I am not tired." Pick up and pick up children every day and serve a large family. It's nice of you to be away from home every day. "
his husband said, "am I tired of doing housework with clients?" I haven't had a bite of my meal so far. "
the more they talked, the more excited they became, and Xiaoya simply hung up the phone.
she said, "I don't know why I married him. I finally came out to have dinner with you when I was free. I just said that I was busy all day, regardless of home at all."
every time I complain to him, he will find many reasons to prove that he is more tired than I am. I just want him to care more about me, but he fights with me every time. "
I believe many people feel the same way in such a scene.
I read a passage on Tianya Forum:
when I tell my husband that I am very tired, he will tell me that he has worked all day and doesn't want to do anything when he comes home.
when I tell my husband that I want to have a rest, he will tell me that he has been running business all day and just wants to lie down and have a good sleep. No matter what I say to him, he will say, "I am more tired than you".
think of that joke on the Internet:
it makes me feel much better to see that you are more miserable than me.
how many couples are in "miserable", the relationship is broken step by step.
the reason why many marriages are unhappy is that the person who wants to hear "you have worked hard" will often hear "I work harder than you".
most people don't know:
the biggest debt to your partner is that when you should have said "Thank you, thank you for your hard work, I love you", it turned out to be "I'm tired, I'm busy, I'm right."
the coolest thing in the world is not that the whole world is your enemy, but that your partner doesn't love you.
A happy marriage is tolerance for each other
share one little thing.
I complained to my friends that I was so tired that I didn't want to do anything.
she said, "what's the matter with you? I'm much worse off than you."
she left me speechless.
because at that moment, I understand. When you say "I am tired" to the other person, if the other person responds to "I am more tired than you", he is telling you:
"my life is much more unfortunate than yours. I can hold it in my heart. How dare you say it?"
the tribulations you've been through are nothing, and I don't even bother to listen to you. "
in life, we will inevitably have negative emotions, but we generally don't vent to strangers, we can only spit on people close to us.
but when you release your emotions, all you get is "I am more tired than you", and you will be disappointed instantly.
in fact, when we say "I am very tired" most of the time, we do not want the other person to solve your problems for you, but hope that the other person can listen to your thoughts and understand your feelings.
isn't it the same with marriage?
when your partner says "I'm tired", ta just wants a hug and comfort from you, not "I'm more tired than you".
how many marriages break up because they are "more tired than you".
in fact, the so-called "I am very tired" is just a fight with each other.
"Don't say whether you love or not, you and I are neck friends all my life."
I think so.
Marriage is not like you go to a restaurant, someone serves you, you just sit there and wait for food and drink.
Marriage is not one person bossing another person around, not one person living more miserably than one person. But I understand that it is not easy for you, and you are distressed by my difficulties.
the best marriage is not to suffer from each other, but to tolerate and repay each other.
A real marriage owes each other
talk about the feelings of my parents.
my father is a very face-saving man, but he will do things regardless of face for my mother.
once the zipper of my mother's coat was broken and asked my father to exchange it for a zipper. My father said:
"I'm a little embarrassed to ask a man to find someone to mend his clothes."
but he finally went.
once in my hometown, my mother asked my father to hang clothes. He said, "there are so many people sitting at the door that I am embarrassed to hang them."
but he finally went.
another time my mom said she was too tired and asked Dad to cook dinner. Dad was tired after a day's work at the construction site, but he didn't say anything, but went into the kitchen.
every time my mom loses her temper and complains that life is hard, my dadWill say:
"who's messing with you again? it's too much. I'll teach him a lesson."
my mother blossomed with delight when she heard this.
then I began to pour bitterness with my father and talk about it for hours.
I have always thought that a good marriage is like my parents.
when one person says "I am very tired", the other person will not stand in his own position to deny the other person.
but reach out and hug each other in time, become a good listener, and patiently understand the other person's current pain.
I read a short story on Weibo.
there was a young couple. When the husband came home with a mournful face, the wife leaned over and asked, "what's the matter, husband?"
my husband replied angrily, "you women don't understand about us men."
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my wife turned around and left.
the husband thought his wife was angry again, so he was perturbed.
after a while, the wife came back and asked in a loud voice, "what happened?" Brothers? "
the husband looked up and his wife drew a thick black beard with a paintbrush, giggled, and the two hugged together.
my husband immediately felt that the world was really beautiful.
Why share this story? Just want to express a point of view:
in an unhappy marriage, when you encounter problems, you will point your hand at each other.
in a happy marriage, when you encounter problems, you will point your hand at yourself.
A really long-term couple must love each other rather than compare them to each other.
finally, I have to mention a story about Sanmao and Jose:
Jose: do you have to marry a rich man?
Sanmao: if I don't love him, I won't marry him if he's a millionaire. If I love him, I'll marry him if he's a multimillionaire.
Jose: anyway, you still want to marry a rich man.
Sanmao: there are exceptions.
Jose: what if you follow me?
Sanmao: just enough money to eat.
Jose thought for a moment: do you eat too much?
San Mao answered very carefully: not much, not much, you can eat less in the future.
this kind of love makes countless posterity cry and envy.
We envy them to share joys and sorrows.
when the parents grow old, when the children grow up, when the crowd recedes, when the age is getting older, when the illness comes, the people waiting for us silently are often our partners, our pillow people.
I hope you remember that the people you hate, dislike, and hurt are the people you need, depend on, and accompany you in your old age.
so, when the other person says "I'm tired", can you put aside your complaints and stop attacking the language?
then, with a peaceful attitude, listen to him, be kind to him, accept him, warm him, and cherish him.
after all, he is the one who has been with you for the longest time and wants to stay with you to the end.
, when he says he is tired, give his shoulder to ta.