The joke of 's lack of sense of proportion is the Terminator of interpersonal relationships.
are you a joker in life?
from a psychological point of view, joking is a way of "impression management". People who like to joke can often leave a good impression of being easy to get along with and humorous.
however, some jokes are the lubricant of relationships, while others can ruin a relationship.
Today, my uncle wants to tell you that when getting along with others, these four kinds of jokes had better not be played. Bad jokes may become a sign of low EQ.
make jokes with the opposite sex out of bounds
get along with members of the opposite sex, especially pay attention to the sense of boundaries.
No matter how good the relationship is, jokes should be measured so as not to cause resentment.
while she was at work, she was suddenly hugged from behind by her male colleagues. No matter how much she resisted and struggled, she had no intention of letting go.
this is not the first time that this male colleague often behaves like this to her on her way to pick up the express delivery or when waiting for the traffic light, so Miss Yu can't stand it and chooses to call the police.
what do male colleagues want to do in broad daylight?
in the face of questions from the police, he said aggrieved: "I have no other ideas. I was just kidding."
from my uncle's point of view, such casual manipulation with the opposite sex is a sign of great disrespect for the opposite sex.
such people tend to have low EQ and never consider other people's feelings. Getting along with them will only make people feel offended and uncomfortable.
whether it is excessive physical contact or verbal ambiguity, they all cross the appropriate social distance between friends of the opposite sex, making the original pure feelings deteriorate.
make fun of other people's privacy
there is a topic on the Internet: how does a relationship end?
A netizen Ah Gu shared his story.
there was a person closest to him who used his secret as a topic of conversation.
in high school, something happened to Ah Gu's family, which made him in a bad psychological state and received treatment in a mental hospital for a period of time.
this matter has always been buried in his heart, and he didn't tell anyone except his best friend.
later, he went to work in his friend's city. In order to pick him up, his friend invited a lot of people to dinner with him.
at dinner, everyone talked about their past experiences and lamented the passage of time.
at this time, my friend suddenly put his hand on Dahua's shoulder, smiled and said to everyone:
"I'm telling you, my buddy, he's had a lot of experience. He's been in a mental hospital, isn't he?
Ah Gu, tell us what it looks like in a mental hospital. Is the food good? "
everyone looked at Ah Gu with strange eyes, and he was so embarrassed that he could not say a word.
after the dinner was over, A Gu cut off from this friend.
Uncle wants to say that people who joke about a person's privacy not only have low EQ, but also lack empathy.
some people even regard other people's privacy as an after-dinner joke, and if the other person falls out angrily, they accuse the other person of "not being able to afford a joke."
as a matter of fact, it is not that others "can't afford to joke", but that he "made a mistake".
everyone has unknown secrets, and as a friend, we should keep these secrets for him instead of using them as jokes and sprinkling salt on each other's wounds.
make fun of other people's looks
in life, there are always some people who make fun of other people's appearance:
"look at your belly. How many months have you been pregnant?"
"what are you afraid of walking at night? you look so safe."
"at your height, I'm afraid you don't have dwarfism."
Uncle wants to say that people who like to joke about other people's appearance are ostensibly to show their humor and closeness to each other, but in fact they are eager to belittle others to gain a sense of superiority.
when you laugh at a person, you will unconsciously think that you are superior to others and enjoy this sense of superiority.
will often ignore a sentence that you think is funny, which virtually hurts the self-esteem of others.
Xiao S and Aya have been good friends since junior high school, when Aya dressed neuter, and Xiao S often joked about her appearance.
after graduation, Aya entered the entertainment industry and began to give full play to her funny nature, often deliberately acting ugly when she was a variety show host.
and Xiao S is even more outspoken, teasing her as a "man" and a "shemale" in "Kangxi is coming".
once, Aya worked with Xiao S, and Xiao S joked about Aya in front of everyone as usual, but Aya did not pick her up, but became very quiet.
after the work was over, Aya said to Xiao S privately:
"Xidi, please don't make fun of me like this in front of everyone. I'm very uncomfortable and I don't like it."
later, Xiao S invited Aya as a guest in an issue of "Sister is so hungry". Talking about this experience, Xiao S solemnly apologized to Aya, saying that he was not aware of Aya's growth and change and should not play such a joke on her.
in fact, there are many people who are polite and restrained to strangers, but it is easy to lose control with those who are close to them, and accidentally poke at each other's sore spot during laughter and play, but they do not realize it.
for the sake of a good relationship, friends may not fall out, but they will feel more or less in their hearts.comfortable.
it is because of a good relationship that I care more about what the other person says and don't want to be hurt by my best friend.
Uncle wants to say that people with high EQ will take into account each other's face no matter how they play, and no matter how they choose their words, they will not hurt each other's dignity.
make fun of other people's families
Family is an important existence for everyone and needs to be cherished and guarded.
you can complain thousands of times, but you are not allowed to say a word about your family. When the family is ridiculed and vilified, it is often worse than being insulted.
so, friends play and play, do not hurt each other's family. A relationship ends with a friend, and a joke should stop with a friend.
people who make fun of other people's families not only have low EQ, but also lack politeness and breeding.
have read such a story.
Dahua has a very close friend who often plays together.
one day, a friend accidentally sprained his ankle while playing basketball. Dahua complained about his carelessness and cared about his injury.
but my friend didn't care at all and said jokingly, "do you think I look like your father?"
one sentence annoys Dahua. He said solemnly, "Don't make fun of my father."
the friend disagreed and continued to imitate his father's tone and said, "I can't walk any more for my father. Come and help me."
it turns out that Dahua's father was injured in his leg in his early years, was disabled and walked with a limp. A joke from a friend not only insulted his family, but also opened his scars.
Uncle wants to say that there is a limit to tolerance and magnanimity between friends. To make fun of each other's family is to break a person's principles and bottom line, and even a person with a good relationship will fall out.
the family members of friends, whether they are strangers or have a certain degree of contact and understanding, are not qualified to judge.
respecting the family of friends is not only a high EQ, but also the most basic upbringing of life.
A person's sense of proportion to a joke often reflects his EQ.
for people with high EQ, a joke can bring two people closer; for people with low EQ, a joke can destroy a relationship.
as the writer Emerson said:
when making jokes with others, be sure to master the sense of division.
proper humor, like seasoning in the meal, can make our life more relaxed and enjoyable.
excessive or inappropriate seasoning can spoil a good meal.
I think so.
A joke that lacks a sense of proportion is the Terminator of a relationship.
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keep the "red line" of these four jokes and don't be a person with low EQ in the eyes of others.