May you be gentle and strong and affectionate and sober in your marriage.
once saw a video, although it is not long, it makes people cry instantly.
A loving couple got separated. When they saw each other again in their twilight years, the old woman hugged her grandfather and cried bitterly.
Grandpa is full of children and grandchildren, but grandma chooses to be alone and unmarried for the rest of her life in order to wait for Grandpa to return.
the old man underestimated his weight in her heart, and the grandmother overestimated his place in his heart.
close and estranged husband and wife.
every relationship is not a standard script, there are love entanglements, but also human miscellaneous.
the so-called perfect love can not escape a rule after all:
Don't overestimate the relationship of marriage, nor underestimate the rules of human nature.
Don't overestimate marital relationships
at the beginning of marriage, there is no one who does not look forward to the same love, but the reality is often much crueler.
my friend Xiaomi and her husband met in college. After graduation, they got married bravely and naked with a stream of true love, and lived a sweet little life in our envious eyes.
Xiaomi struggled with her husband. Even when she was poor, she never complained, and her husband once said when he was in love: "the most sorry thing in this life is you, I will not let you down!"
A few years later, they also had their own house and children, and their days were like mixing oil in honey.
when Xiaomi believed that the future could be expected, she stumbled upon her husband and a girl walking around the mall hand in hand. At that moment, Xiaomi was heartbroken.
in the face of Xiaomi's angry question, the husband who once held her in the palm of his hand would only bow his head: "No love, there's nothing I can do about it."
sometimes, deep feelings always fail, and that's probably the case.
We are punctual in our marriage, and each other may have deserted.
in the movie "No questions about the West and the East", Xu Bochang promised his wife a happy life, and the two were once very much in love.
however, in his married life, Xu Bochang became so indifferent that his wife was tortured by this endless indifference and finally had to ask in disappointment, "it was you who said you wanted to live with me for the rest of your life!"
and Xu Bochang's answer is: "at the beginning, can't people change?" Can't feelings change? Why can other things change, but feelings can't! "
is like a movie line:
"cans expire, and love has an expiration date."
the so-called unswerving love is always vulnerable to the cruel reality.
my sister, who works in a hospital, has seen many emotional entanglements among people with serious illness. too many couples choose to fly separately when they are supposed to be in the same boat.
at the beginning of treatment, the patient's partner is often very patient, with the extension of the course of the disease, often leaving the patient alone to fight the disease.
A middle-aged man once said when he gave up his wife: "my wife is sick, I am also sad, but my salary gives her chemotherapy, and my whole life is tied up by a man who can't save her."
affection is never spring planting and autumn harvest.
the wall that separates all hopes is usually built by our expectations.
Li Bihua once said:
among about 10 million people, only one pair of Liangzhu can turn into butterflies, and the rest will only turn into moths, cockroaches and flies. It just doesn't turn into a butterfly.
not all feelings can grow old together. If you overestimate the relationship of marriage, you are often the one who gets hurt.
when we lower our expectations of our relationship, we can get unexpected joy.
Don't underestimate the rules of human nature
recently saw a documentary "the World", in which a love story touched a lot of audiences.
Zhang Lijun was found to have advanced cancer when she was 5 months pregnant. She gave up induced labor for treatment in order to keep it for her husband.
newly married, she was worried that her husband would be lonely after her death, so she resolutely chose to give up her life to give birth.
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because Zhang Lijun missed the best treatment time after delivery, her condition deteriorated seriously. she had tumors in many places on her body, and even lost her sight in one eye.
at this time, Zhang Lijun's husband was also attentive to accompany his wife on the last journey. He even sold his property and took his wife on a trip while treating her.
until the moment before his wife's death, the husband never gave up treatment, nor did he give up love for her.
netizens' comments hit the nail on the head: "if the husband dies, the wife will always be a widow for many years." Looking back at the death of his wife, it is very difficult for the husband to survive three years. "
once the feelings of loyalty and firmness are studied carefully, they are often dripping with blood.
this is human nature and real life.
the relationship in the world is not black and white, human nature is far more complex than imagined, so do not easily use feelings to test and challenge human nature.
just like Wang Jiazhi, an intelligence agent in Lust and caution, she fell in love with Yi Mocheng, a traitor, and betrayed all her countrymen in order to save Yi Mocheng at the moment of life and death.
Wang Jiazhi lost her life for love, not to mention the compatriots who were buried with her.
however, Yi Mocheng's love is very realistic. After being rescued, he still killed the one who took his life to protect her.Wang Jiazhi.
writer Yu Xiuhua once said something like this:
"Love is a lie in front of human nature."
in many cases, the more you know about human nature, the less likely you are to overestimate your feelings.
Life has always been realistic, with love and human considerations.
those who take their feelings too seriously tend to be moved only by themselves in the end.
Adult feelings are fragile
not long ago, the story of a netizen on Weibo triggered a heated discussion.
the father of a female netizen was involved in a serious car accident and the owner escaped, but there is still a shortfall of more than 100,000 yuan in the cost of treatment.
the girl is still in graduate school and does not have any source of income. in a hurry, she thinks of finding a boyfriend to advance the bride price to save her father.
the girl and boyfriend have been holding hands for eight years. Before their father's car accident, they had reached the point of talking about marriage, and their parents had negotiated a bride price of 100000 yuan.
however, when the girl offered an advance gift, her boyfriend chose to break up.
many netizens are angry about this:
100000 yuan is the touchstone. It is worth it to see a man who has no responsibility through one thing. It's just a pity for the girl's eight years of youth.
some netizens also hold different attitudes:
although their eight-year relationship lost to 100000 yuan, the two are really not married. The boy is afraid of being dragged down by the girl's family, so it is understandable to break up.
We only talk about pure feelings when we are young, and adults often weigh the pros and cons.
We often lament the love between Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai, Romeo and Juliet, but it is just a story. In reality, feelings often have all kinds of helplessness and difficulties.
like the love story of Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe, they used to love each other as much as life, and few love is as strong and detached as they are.
however, after Wang Xiaobo died, Li Yinhe also said: "people can love again and again, but it is only a matter of time."
in the adult world, feelings are mostly fragile.
as the saying goes:
Life is a road from the plain to the misty forest, where you can walk together happily. Once you enter the forest full of thorns, you can only go your own way.
so, don't take love too seriously, and don't bind yourself in marriage, this is the most sober way to live.
while loving others, don't forget to love yourself
there is no emotion in this world that is important enough for us to carry it with our lives.
to love someone, you don't have to sacrifice all of yourself. no matter who you love, please remember not to lose yourself.
if you can't tell the difference between true feelings and false feelings, you will lose yourself blindly, and the love that carries a heavy load will eventually drag you down.
so don't overestimate any relationship, don't underestimate the rules of human nature.
Seven points are fine for your lover, and three points are left. Stay and love yourself.
in the world of mortals, marriage is the biggest monastery.
Marriage can become transparent only if you understand yourself.
as the writer Liang Wendao said:
"if a man or a woman does not have the ability to live on his own, he does not have the ability to live a good life with others."
the love that can go to the end is not necessarily how much the other person loves you, but how to love yourself in the common life.
the final truth of marriage is that who you live with is actually with yourself in the end.
expect less from marriage, rely less on your partner, and be more kind to yourself.
in this way, you can boldly love when the wind is calm, and you can leave chic when the waves are rough.
May you be gentle and strong and affectionate and sober in your marriage.