Sometimes, the best love for a child is to learn to let go.
A few days ago, a group of screenshots of chat records were put up on popular search, which made a lot of people angry.
A highly educated foreign student posted a chat record with her father, claiming:
"Old man, if you can't afford to raise a fairy, don't give birth to a fairy. What XX?"
and what evil did her father do to be so spurned by his own daughter?
in fact, her father just asked his daughter why his credit card had been swiped so much.
Father and daughter take great pains to be reasonable:
you are under a lot of pressure. You promised to keep your monthly expenditure at about 10,000 yuan as far as possible. My father's salary is so high, so he really has no money.
daughter is as aggressive as a machine gun:
"I don't want to fight with you early in the morning."
"that's it. Goodbye."
Dad's tone is distressing:
"Dad is not quarreling with you. I hope you can be sensible and understand that Dad is not easy."
"Dad is 51 years old and too old to support you all the time."
he never dreamed that his precious daughter would post him on the Internet and use all kinds of abusive language because of her words.
his father scrimps every day and eats light Millet Congee with green vegetables for supper without even a piece of meat.
while his daughter squandered her father's credit card unscrupulously abroad, she didn't even have the most basic respect and gratitude to her father.
in the comment area, many netizens are feeling cold for their father:
"Dad is 51 years old and old. Look at what her father eats. She still thinks she eats nutritionally unevenly. "
"it's so hard to see the tone of this father's voice."
others, from the point of view of being foreign students, do not understand what their daughters have done:
"going out to study is really not to be an uncle or to enjoy reading. I didn't plan my life properly and made a mess, so I had the nerve to ask my parents for more money on this excuse. After I quietly bought a watch, I began to live frugally, and I was afraid to let my parents know. "
"my rich second-generation classmates all work and study at the same time, and they are ashamed to be rice worms if they are not well-off enough at home."
someone came out to popularize science to expose the identity of this highly educated "giant baby". It turned out that she was the "Qingdao car-jumping international student" who was on the news last year.
at that time, when she came back from abroad, in order to refuse isolation, she jumped out of the bus window and ran away.
this time, she went on a hot search again because of the behavior of the giant baby.
in her life dictionary, there is only constant taking, and there has never been such a word as self-reliance.
although raising a godfather is not the fault of the godfather, children will become like this, and parents also have an unshirkable responsibility.
but it was really an eye-opener for me to be selfish when I was able to gnaw on the elderly and complain about my parents.
what is even more frightening is that they blindly take, do not appreciate, and even become completely white-eyed wolves.
how long will this new type of eating an old giant baby be arrogant?
in today's society, the concentration of "giant babies" around us is too high.
I saw such a speechless event some time ago.
A 29-year-old woman in Shanghai was hit on the heel by a stroller while changing to the subway.
originally this is a very normal thing, after all, the subway station is crowded, be stepped on the foot, a little friction is inevitable.
after the police and medical staff arrived, an even weirder scene came:
the woman refused to get on the bus because "I want to wait for my father to come and let him take me to the hospital!"
the medical staff examined the woman's heel on the spot and found that there was no redness, swelling or broken skin, and there was no need for medical treatment at all.
people dissuaded the women, and medical staff stressed that ambulances should be given to those who need them more.
but the woman insisted on using it, so everyone had to wait for her at the scene for half an hour, and her father hadn't arrived yet.
the police kindly advised her: let us accompany you to the hospital first, and let your father go directly to the hospital to meet you.
people around her also advised her: people (police doctors and nurses) have a lot of things to do.
but the woman just disagreed: I have to wait for my father to come.
the medical staff were so anxious that they couldn't help saying:
"will the little girl be reasonable? I've been waiting for you for half an hour, and there are other patients who need to use the car. "
the woman kept calling her father, urging him to hurry up and complaining:
"A bunch of people are staring at me, and they're bored to death!"
and then he even started yelling at Dad:
"come on! Hurry up! They are bored to death! "
it was not easy for her father to come at last. She immediately raised her heel and showed off her "injury" like a child claiming credit.
after my father accompanied him to the hospital, the doctor didn't find out.Any injury... In the end, the two left by themselves.
justifiably and confidently wasting social resources, this is a strange giant baby.
this kind of person, although the physical age is already an adult, but the psychological age is the same as the baby.
what they do is consistent with the four typical characteristics of "infantile personality":
self-centered, if not to his liking, he will be agitated and furious;
lack of moral sense, sense of obligation, lack of compassion;
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poor adaptability, accustomed to letting others take care of themselves, not caring for others;
if you encounter a small setback, you will give up, go mad, and even hurt others.
people who are old in material and unweaned in spirit are doomed to be spurned by everyone.
there is a psychological word called "psychological weaning", which refers to
in the process of growth and development, children are required to get rid of the guardianship of their parents or other guardians and form an independent personality.
you have to be weaned twice in your life:
the first time was physiological weaning, about 1 year old. After physical weaning, the child still lives with attachment under the protection of his parents.
the second time is psychological weaning, which marks psychological independence. After psychological weaning, the child begins to change from the protection of his parents to an independent social person.
"Psychological weaning period" is an important opportunity for growth, which means that a person moves from childishness and dependence to independence and maturity.
and if you can not do psychological weaning, psychological weaning period is even delayed to adulthood, it will lead to all kinds of problems.
both parents and children should take the initiative to achieve separation and psychological weaning.
just like in the Japanese variety show, 3-year-old Ai Tan was asked to go out alone for the first time.
on Mother's Day, Li Love's father asked Li Love to buy vegetables, pick up a scheduled cake, and buy a carnation.
Love stood in the doorway, crying and looking at his father, daring not to take the first step.
Dad endured his heartache and stuffed a handful of candy into her pocket, finally gave her a gentle push, and finally helped her to take the first step.
the father crouched on the ground, watching his daughter's little figure go farther and farther away, and dared not move.
and Li Ai, though looking back all the time, bravely moved forward step by step.
Children will grow up eventually, and what parents can do is to learn to let go and teach their children to take on their own lives on their own.
it is written in this book:
"I slowly, slowly understand that the so-called father-daughter mother-son fight only means that your fate with him is to keep watching his back drifting away in this life.
you stand at this end of the path and watch him disappear at the turn of the path, and he tells you silently with his back: there is no need to chase. "
sometimes, the best love for a child is to learn to let go.
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