The original family is the starting point of our life, but it is not the end of our life.
after Li Yundi's accident, many people wanted to know the truth about the fall of genius.
some people began to search for the details of his growth in order to find out the answer.
finally come to the conclusion that the sin of the original family.
he fell because there was a harshly educated mother behind him.
I don't know when the original family became the original sin of all misfortune.
when children grow up, they go the wrong way, and the fault lies with their parents.
among parents, the latter endured most of the trials.
just like Wu Yifan and Qian Feng.
even if they are all in their thirties, they are responsible enough for their own lives.
the environment in which we grow up and the way our parents educate will shape our personality.
but it is biased to blame all the problems on the misfortune of childhood.
the original family is the starting point of our life, but it is not the end of our life.
in the middle of this road, we can choose how to go.
Native families can affect you
but it doesn't determine your life
everyone's origin cannot be controlled by himself.
but the fact that the original family is bad does not mean that life is hopeless and unhappy.
it is always us who decide the direction of life.
Li Ziqi is a case in point.
A few days ago, she appeared on CCTV for an interview after she had disappeared for three months.
referring to the original family, she said that life is not a road in vain.
she also said:
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"someone in my world has given me a beam of light, so I remember this beam of light and am eager to pass on the warmth to more people."
there is no resentment, no hatred, but gratitude for fate.
many netizens were moved.
when she was young, her parents divorced, her mother disappeared, and her father died at the age of 6.
her stepmother beat or scolded her, bordering on abuse.
at the age of 14, she dropped out of school early, slept in the park, carried plates and nibbled on steamed buns.
lack of love since childhood, wandering, lack of sense of security.
the situation was so miserable that she had every reason to sink and blame her original family.
there are no plums.
all the way to touch, crawl, roll and fight, after doom, taste all over the world, successfully break out a piece of heaven.
the first half of her life was a fate she could not choose;
for the rest of her life, she made the change with her own efforts.
the misfortune of the original family does make the first half of life full of thorns.
but we can control the second half of life by ourselves.
as Keigo Higano said in his book Shisheng:
"everyone wants to be born in a good family, but they can't choose their parents.
whatever card is given to you, you can only play it as well as you can. "
sinks endlessly in the dark, or lives in the sun.
it all depends on us.
there is no perfect native family
if you can find the key
Fu Seoul once said:
"all native families have problems.
is extreme, but a 100% perfect family is impossible.
every family is lucky or unhappy.
every parent has done harm to their children more or less.
may be the wrong way of education, or it may be ignoring the child's psychology.
even a seemingly happy family has its own grief.
I have a classmate who is well-off and has enlightened parents who respect their children.
her parents meet any of her needs unconditionally.
on the face of it, she is filled with abundant love and should be confident and optimistic.
in fact, she is sensitive and extremely inferiority complex.
since childhood, her parents have never praised her to her face.
No matter how good her grades are and how many honors she has won, her parents never praise her.
as a result, she always felt bad.
when she was an adult, she knew that both her parents had been beaten up.
they grew up in a rough environment, so they naturally didn't know how to express tenderness.
We always magnify the influence of native families, but ignore that our parents are also novice in education.
they have their own limitations and weaknesses, they will make mistakes, and they will take care of one thing at the expense of another.
raising children can never be done without fallacy.
therefore, native families always love to be mixed with hurt, and hurt is mixed with love.
it's just that some are deep, some are shallow, some are more, some are less.
injury is inevitable, but in adulthood, we can shoulder our own destiny.
be aware of the harm of native families
is the beginning of a watershed in life
Last week,Meet your lover "ushered in the big ending.
what makes people sigh most is the couple Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong.
there are early signs of the outcome of their divorce.
Wang Qiuyu's attitude towards his wife suffocated even the audience.
he is rational and indifferent, and his work always comes first.
he also attacked and belittled his wife all the time, saying that she made up ugly and sang badly.
he can't see the emotional needs of his wife.
even the hug, also pinching the watch to calculate the time, a minute to the end.
I don't know love, I can't express it, I can't feel it.
behind "incompetence in love" comes from his childhood experience.
his parents give him a "gifted education", which is not only learning but also learning every day.
emotional needs are ignored by parents.
even in adulthood, he can't empathize with his partner's emotions in an intimate relationship.
run away for half his life, still trapped in the shackles of the original family.
are these injuries really impossible to cross?
of course not.
program, Shen Yifei, a guest commentator, said a sentence, which I think is right:
"No family is perfect, but people grow up."
Childhood determines the initial experience of our lives, but we can grow up by ourselves.
We should not bear the harm caused by the original family in vain.
the sight of injury is often the beginning of a turnaround in life.
when you realize that some of your problems are related to your original family, correct and change them.
Tsai Shaofen, whose original family is indescribable, completed her redemption on her own.
my parents are divorced and my mother is addicted to gambling.
Cai Shaofen did not realize the love and warmth that a child should have in childhood.
so she once felt inferior and even called herself "rubbish".
later, she bravely cut off with her bloodsucking mother.
in the years that followed, Cai Shaofen has been shaping himself.
now that she has a successful career and a happy marriage, she finally realizes that she is precious.
therefore, the experience of childhood is not terrible.
after adulthood, we can grow again through our own efforts.
even in the dark night, we can turn ourselves into light and shine on ourselves.
although it is a long and arduous road, it doesn't matter.
every step we take leads to healing and spiritual practice.
what native families owe us, they can take it back on their own.
you can not forgive
but you can choose to put it down
the curse of the native family is that the more resentful it is, the more painful it is.
but what should I do if my parents bring great pain to me?
Cai Kangyong said in an interview:
"my advice is not to forgive, but to forget."
the so-called "forget it" is the reconciliation to yourself after experiencing sadness and disappointment.
is even more helpless after the struggle.
put it down, it is not the parents who let go, but the fulfillment of themselves.
No longer resentment, really alive, in order to get out of the mountains and seas of the original family.
once watched a video.
A couple abandoned their newborn daughter in order to raise their son.
later, the abandoned girl was adopted by a foreign couple, and she is now doing well.
after a lapse of more than 2 years, the online family-seeking organization found the girl's real mother.
during the video call, my mother cried and apologized:
"I'm sorry to throw you away so young."
the girl said happily:
"it doesn't matter, thank you. Throwing it away is a good thing."
parents give us life, but they can't decide what kind of person we become.
before the age of 18, life is given by parents.
but don't forget that the mistakes of the original family will also be passed on from generation to generation.
many of my friends grew up under the violence of their parents.
after adulthood, most of them are used to solving problems with their fists.
you can't help but take action against your partner and exert violence on your children.
A fateful reincarnation, of course, you can shift the responsibility to your parents.
but no matter how much condemnation, accusation or anger, it will not solve the problem.
the only thing we can do is to change, to cut off this fateful continuation.
We can't repeat the mistakes made by parents in our children.
Don't let the children repeat what we've been hurt.
, may everyone get out of the shackles of their original family and shake hands with life.